Thursday, 31 May 2018

Christian Contemplation and the Eucharist: Dwelling in Real Presence; Becoming the Real Presence





Christian Contemplation and the Eucharist: 
Dwelling in the Real Presence; Becoming the Real Presence

What is the goal of the Christian journey? Salvation? Justification?
Heaven? The Kingdom of God? Righteousness? The early Christians
had a word that included all of these meanings and also went far beyond.
They said the goal of the Christian Life was “Theosis”. It’s a Greek word,
meaning to become as alike to God as it is possible for us to become, literally to be divinised.
Sanctity or holiness in the Christian tradition is the journey of the person towards this theosis, allowing the Sanctifier, the Holy Spirit, to gradually heal and transform
us so that on every level of our being, body, mind, heart and soul we approach what God wants us to become: saints. As far as the Christian tradition is concerned the
goal God has for each of us is simply this, to undergo theosis; to be remade into the image of Christ, to become a saint. As St. John says,

“We shall become like Him, for we shall see Him as He really is”
 (1 John 3:2).

This gradual journeying of the human being back to God is made possible through the Incarnation of Jesus. His entry into our world opened the path and the possibility for human beings to journey with and through Him back to God. As St. Bonaventure says: “He descended so that we could ascend.” And He did this through living a
human life and dying a human death.
Or as St. Augustine poetically put it,

“Divine Wisdom has assumed humanity and come close to human beings
by means of what is closest to us.” [1]

If this is true then how do we begin to approach this mystery? How do we start the journey? In the tradition of the Church we have a marvellous wealth of wisdom
that allows us to see how the sacraments and the life of prayer relate to each other in this path of transformation that we have to walk. Both are necessary and both inform the deeper practice of the other.

What are We?

However first we have to understand just what we are as human beings. We need to get to know the raw material that will make this journey. Again the early Christian writers can help us out here.

Over the first thousand years of the Church’s
existence these experts in contemplative being delved so deeply into scripture and
contemplation and inner observation that they evolved a marvellous spiritual anthropology that allows us to see how prayer, contemplation and the Eucharist are interrelated and are necessary for this journey.
To the Fathers of the Church, human beings are often described as fourfold creatures. We are made up of body, (soma), mind, (psyche), soul (nous) and most importantly of
all spirit (pneuma). Now the words soul and spirit have become somewhat mixed up nowadays but to the contemplative they have very different
connotations. The soul is the seat of the human personality. It is your “you” the place where your memory, will, imagination and capacity for emotion
and relating are present. The spirit however is quite different. It is the place where God dwells within the human being, the pure point of His presence. It is distinct from us but present in us. As such it is an unfallen place and always pure, while the previous three (body, mind and soul) are fallen, and in need of the
redemption that only Christ can bring.
The best way to imagine it is to see it as St. Paul
describes it, we are earthen vessels carrying a heavenly treasure (cf 2 Corinthians 4:7). If human beings had never fallen then the soul would have
been in perfect communion with the spirit and had perfect governance over the mind and the body.
The spirit as place and point of Divine Presence holding us in being is present in every human person. Christ is “the Light who enlightens all people”[2], but sadly
many are unaware of the divine presence dwelling within. Prayer, repentance and sacramental grace gradually restore the harmony and order of being that was meant
to be there from the beginning. This is the path of re-ascending with Christ that the Christian aspires to. We begin that path through the practice of
prayer.




What is Prayer?

But what do we mean by prayer? Let’s take a brief look at what Jesus says to His followers about it in one important Gospel passage.

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they
love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street
corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have
received their reward in full.”
"But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close
your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and
your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”
(Mt 6:5-6)

Now, let us consider whom Jesus was addressing these words to. In speaking to the ordinary people of the Palestine of His day He was addressing mostly those who were poor. They would have lived in a one room dwelling. So where was this inner
room he was speaking of? In fact the phrase “inner room” was a well known image used by the rabbis of the day to illustrate the inner room of the heart, the inner place of the spirit. The image of the closing of the door was often used to indicate a turning inwards to a time of silence and stillness. All this would have been quite familiar to those of his followers who had heard the teachings of the rabbis.
However Jesus adds something new to this image. He tells us that when we do become still and silent and enter into the inner place of the heart then we will find that the Father is already present there. Again we have, from Jesus’ own mouth, the teaching that God is already present at the heart of the human being. To be there consciously in that place, the holy of holies of the human being and rest in the presence of the Father is at the heart of this teaching. Jesus is essentially
teaching his disciples the beginning of contemplative prayer. This is a form of prayer that is to be of few words, grounded in the truth of our own sinfulness but resting always on the promise of the divine presence within. Down the ages this form of prayer will be characterised by an interior intimacy, by silence and by attentive listening.
As the great St. Teresa of Avila said;

“prayer is simply conversing with someone whom I already know loves me.”[3]

One of the great stories from the Scriptures that illustrates this intimate practice of prayer is that of Elijah in the cave. It was used so extensively by the
desert fathers as a teaching tool that it must have been handed down in
the early Christian communities as an image of true prayer. In the book of the Kings we learn that Elijah has been persecuted for his fidelity to the covenant of God and so, at the end of his tether, he takes off into the desert to simply lie down and die. He has had enough, he is lost in desolation and dryness. An angel appears twice and feeds him that he might have strength for the journey into the desert and off he
trots until he comes to the cave where he dwells in prayer until he is told that the Lord is about to reveal Himself to him. Let’s look at what happens next:

“The LORD said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the
presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.’ Then a
great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and
shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in
the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the
LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a
fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a
gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over
his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’”
(1 Kings 19: 11-13).

It is a beautiful and powerful story of the Lord renewing the call of his prophet but, more than that, the story was also seen by the Fathers as an indication of
the place the Eucharist plays in the contemplative path. It is only after he has been fed the “bread of angels” that Elijah has the strength for the journey
into the desert of prayer, where after descending into the cave of the heart, he is then able to still his emotional turmoil enough that he can come to such a calmness
that he is able to discern the presence of the Spirit of God whose voice comes like a gentle breeze. In the story of Elijah and the cave we have traced out for us
the whole Eucharistic – contemplative relationship. Here we see revealed the Eucharist as the fuel for our contemplative journey while being, at one and the
same time, the very goal of that journey; namely intimate communion with Jesus Christ and through Him with the Father and the Spirit.
Now it is also worth noting that the Hebrew phrase for this inner voice that Elijah hears may be translated a number of ways. In Hebrew it is
“qôl d’mâmâh daqâh” (1 Kings 19:12) which literally translates as: “a voice of murmuring silence” or “a breath-filled voice” or even “a gentle breeze”.
Like many of the ancient languages Hebrew is a fluid and poetic. To the Fathers all of
these senses were important as they united in themselves the presence and revelation of the Holy Spirit as “ruah” The living-breath-Spirit-wind of God. The importance of this is that it identifies the Spirit who pours out on the Church the streams of
Sacramental Grace as the same Spirit who reveals to us the inner presence of the Lord in our own spirit through the gift of prayer.




The Eucharist and Contemplative Prayer

So then, from the beginning of the Church the path of Contemplative Prayer and the Eucharist are intimately connected — the one inviting a deeper
participation in the other as the Catechism teaches:

“Entering into contemplative prayer is like entering into the
Eucharistic liturgy: we "gather up:" the heart, recollect our
whole being under the prompting of the Holy Spirit, abide
in the dwelling place of the Lord which we are, awaken our
faith in order to enter into the presence of him who awaits
us. We let our masks fall and turn our hearts back to the
Lord who loves us, so as to hand ourselves over to him as
an offering to be purified and transformed.” (Catechism of
the Catholic Church §2711)

This beautiful paragraph builds marvelously on what we have just said (and traces every one of the steps that Elijah takes!). In a way, our participation
in the Eucharist invites us again and again to trace the contemplative path, and our taking a contemplative stance when celebrating the Eucharist allows us to deepen our levels of understanding of and participation in this great mystery.

St. Bonaventure reaffirms the importance of having this contemplative
understanding of the Eucharist so as to be enabled to participate as fully as
possible in this great mystery of love:

“Whoever draws worthily near to the Eucharist obtains a quadruple grace. This
sacrament instills the strength to operate; raises one to contemplation; disposes one
towards knowledge of divine reality; animates and ignites contempt for the world
and the desire for heavenly and eternal things, as it was said of Elijah who, with the force of that food walked up to the mountain of God, saw divine secrets and stopped at the entrance to the cave.”[4]

According to Bonaventure the Eucharist becomes our “contemplative viaticum”, which strengthens us on the way, while also deepening our gifts of prayer and
contemplation. There is simply no escaping the reciprocal relationship of contemplation and the Eucharist for the fathers, mothers, saints and mystics of the Church. So what happens to us then when we take a contemplative stance and begin the path of meditative prayer? How will it effect our participation in the Eucharist?
Well one of the first things it does is to invite us to see deeply the mystery that we celebrate. We begin to understand that what we are present at is the representation
of the supreme moment of human history. There is an old proverb that you will still hear in Italy from time to time. “At the table no one grows old.” It was co-opted some years ago into a marketing campaign for one of those olive oil butter substitute spreads. In the TV version of the advertisement we see a beautiful Mediterranean
family busily spreading branded olive oil over their bread as the dulcet tones of the announcer claim that at THIS table no one grows old … presumably because of the youth preserving qualities of olive oil. However what many of us probably don’t know is that the marketing people got it wrong! The table referred to in the old proverb is the table of the Eucharist, the Altar. And the claim that at
this table no-one grows old was based on the faith of the early Christians that the celebration of the Mass was a moment when we step into the eternal now of God’s
presence so fully that we are no longer governed by time. We are literally outside of time as “chronos” while celebrating the Eucharist.

Now I’m sure you, like me, have been bored so often at some Masses as the preacher drones on that you have looked at your watch frequently and felt that no time was passing at all! But this isn’t what is meant here. Rather there is the understanding that in some mysterious way we are participating in an eternal moment: a nodal point of history where the eternal NOW of God intersects human history in the crucifixion of Christ. Jesus being fully God and fully human is the centre of this nodal point. Indeed it would be better to say that He is the centrepoint of all history in that our story finds its origins, its ongoing existence, and its fulfilment in Him. This means that our prayer life, our desire to have relationship with God and to communicate with Him on ever deeper levels of love —what we call the contemplative path in Christianity —
must always relate to and be centred upon the person of Jesus. And if we centre our prayer life on Jesus as the one who reveals the Father’s face then we will also
centre our life on the table where no one grows old, on the Mass. For this is the place in time where we come face to face with the ultimate eternal act of divine compassion, the sacrifice of Jesus as the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the
World. The fathers saw this as the moment when the old pagan understanding of time as the destroyer, Chronos  that eats up our lives by the minute is conquered by the
intersection of the eternal dimension, the Kairos of Christ. The time of the new and perpetual jubilee arrives with the incarnation of Jesus and His announcing of the Kingdom and it remains forever open to us through His death and resurrection. We
encounter these salvific moments that are at once historical and eternal in every celebration of the Mass. However, often we are too busy or distracted to be present to these extraordinary events. Perhaps as Church we have spent so long talking about the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist that we have forgotten that we must work on our side to be really present to Him!




Fostering a Contemplative Stance

The Contemplative Christian seeks to live always in the awareness of this eternal dimension, this interpenetration of time and eternity. We live in
incarnational awareness with the understanding that all of creation has been rendered holy once again by the entry of Jesus into our world.

So, in building contemplative moments into our days, moments of prayerful pausing that allow us to come face to face with this mystery, or as St. Clare puts it,

“to place our minds before the mirror of eternity”[5]

we create a chain of experience that enables us to begin to live in the presence of the
Lord here and now to be really present to the One who is always present to us

Practices that help are as old as Christianity: Lectio Divina, the praying of the psalms, the Jesus Prayer, the Rosary, the Divine Office, Centering Prayer, Practice of the Presence of God, the Sacrament of the Present Moment etc ...
All of these methods and many others have at their core the goal of uniting the person with the presence of God who is present to them. They allow us to journey like Elijah into the cave of the heart, there to wait, to abide in stillness until the storms of emotions, stresses, and thoughts have abated and we are calm enough to discern the voice of God within.

The Mass is of course at a completely different level of “practice” but our participation in it may be deepened by applying to it some of the techniques that come from the prayer practices that we have mentioned above. Bringing times of stillness and quiet into our celebration of the sacred liturgy are the most important. These times allow us a moment or two for the words of the liturgy and the scriptures of the day to anchor themselves in our minds so that we may have fuel for our prayerful pauses later that day. How often have you left a celebration of Mass unable to
remember the readings that you have just heard? It happens to me so often!

Following on from silence and stillness, the next most important practice to bring to our celebration of the Mass is that of posture. We forget at times that we are embodied! We are a psycho-biological entity that has a sacramental
world view: in other words our bodies, and what they are
doing are just as important to how we pray as are our thoughts and feelings. Indeed our thoughts and feelings will often be much better and more deeply centred if our
posture is appropriate to what we are saying or thinking. There is a body-language of prayer, commented on by the monastics of the Church from the days of the desert
fathers. Moving from standing to sitting to kneeling to bowing to prostrating reminds us of the truths we are celebrating and takes us out of a “spectator mentality” so
often present in today’s liturgy. Where the body goes the mind and heart will follow.

Arising then from our encounter with this eternal salvific moment in the Mass we are in turn driven to deepen our prayer life such that we become ever more aware of our need to be healed, to make this transformative journey into theosis.
We become aware of our own soul-sickness, our sinfulness, though without anxiety or fear; and at the same time we see that the perfect remedy for that sickness has been provided in the Holy Eucharist. It is no wonder then that one of the earliest images by which the Church described itself was as the “ field hospital of humanity”: the place where those who know they are sick come to in order to be healed.

It is interesting to not that the saints assure us that the self-knowledge that arises through prayer would be too much for us if we didn’t know that God has already
provided the means by which we may be healed. To the earliest monks and nuns daily
Communion was encouraged as an inoculation
against sin.  As St. Ambrose wrote:

“Anyone who
is wounded looks for healing. For us it is a
wound to be liable to sin. Our healing lies in the
adorable heavenly Sacrament.”[6]

St. Therese of Lisieux, a modern Doctor of the Church, writes in her letters that nothing should prevent us from receiving the Lord, not even our
sin. She goes on in one famous letter to teach that once we have repented in heart and have the resolution to go to confession as soon as is
possible we should be confident of the Lord’s mercy and go to receive the medicine that He has provided for our healing. After all, we are supposed to realise that the Eucharist is the medicine for sick sinners not the reward for perfect saints. Otherwise the Lord would have waited until we enter the heavenly life to
provide it. Of course we must co-operate with the grace offered in this deepest communion with the Lord that the Eucharist offers.
Sometimes we forget that the Lord gave of himself in Communion to all of the Apostles just before they would abandon and betray Him. He does that for us as well. Our prayer therefore should be that if we fall we will have the grace to
respond to His call to repentance like Peter and not fall into despair like Judas.

So then, descending into the cave of the heart through building a practice of meditative prayer so as to hear the still, small voice of the Spirit is
the perfect preparation for participating in a deeper way in the celebration of the Eucharist. As the Holy Spirit reveals to us our need to be healed and renewed in the image and likeness of God we approach the Eucharist to receive this
inner healing, we recognise that Jesus wants us to come to Him, to be fed, healed and restored to enter into the fullness of our destiny as saints, to
walk the path of theosis. The Eucharist will deepen our prayer life and our prayer life will deepen our celebration of the Eucharist, and in
this mutuality of experience the seeds of our future destiny are sown, watered and cared for, until that day when we shall see Him face to face and, please God, take our place at the eternal banquet of the Kingdom of Heaven.




[1] St. Augustine, Sermon Denis 16:1
[2] Cf: John 1:4-9
[3] St. Teresa of Avila, Autobiography, ch 8:2
[4] St. Bonaventure: On the Most Holy Body of Christ, 12-13.
[5] St. Clare, Third Letter to St. Agnes of Prague, v 12

Thursday, 12 April 2018

St. Francis of the Elements: A Meditation

St. Francis of the Elements: 

A Meditation.




Brother Air:


Francis,
you were a feather born upon the breath of God; dancing with the unseen and manifesting the invisible in your skyborn steps, inviting all to see again the Divine dance into which they are blessed born...
Francis,
you were an Autumnal leaf gilded by grace's sunshine and shower; now unafraid to let go of anything that would keep you from the freedom of flight and happy to journey to the dissolution of all in offering...
Francis,
you were a snowflake; unique and Heaven sent, you kissed the earth lightly and woke us to her own beauty and wisdom, long lost in our lies...
Francis,
you were a lightening strike; shattering a clear sky and bringing the Divine storm that renews and creates, bringing beginning and drawing a new Spring from stuffy stalled hearts...




Brother Fire:


Francis,
you were a spark; struck by Grace from the Flint of heart's hardness, yearning for the dry straw of sin to be kindled in kindness consuming...
Francis,
you were a hearth on a Winter's night; leeching the indifference from our cold ecclesial bones, welcoming all to sit in storied circle and be one in warmth...
Francis,
you were a forest fire; consuming all in the conflagration of your consecrated love, incandescent within the light of Grace flaming through your burning bones...




Sister Water:


Francis,
you were the dew of dawn; appearing to announce a new morning of magic when beasts and birds become brothers and sisters and our tongues are loosed at last in Eden's song...
Francis,
you were a sweet spring; burbling with joy that knows no end, offering to all a deep draught of the Divine, the only answer to soul's thirst...
Francis,
you were a mountain stream; singing your silver song upon a pilgrim path, refreshing worn feet and charming the divine dance from stony hearts...
Francis,
you were an ocean's drop; borne upon the tide of love you yielded to the pull of prayer and lost yourself in the sacred sea of His resurrection gaze and became yourself in unbecoming all you were not...




Sister Mother Earth:


Francis,
you were a grain of dust upon the road; herald and holy, you dwelt in truth's humility, barefoot upon the brown earth, fading at distance into the truth of her embrace...
Francis,
you were a stone; becoming stillness you yielded yourself and were chisel formed into a foundation, while still a friar free to rest upon the rock of faith...
Francis,
you were a healing herb; condensing in yourself the medicine of first divine in-breathing when all that is, is named as good, for reminding us of redemption's remedy you gave root and leaf and flower and fruit for all...
Francis,
you were bird and beast; all found their friend in you and revealed their inner teaching of praise at your prayer; wondering to hear in you the voice long lost from creature's canticle sung by all that is, as you drew even tears from those who by Adam's naming had felt their brother-sisterhood of being lost to them until your call...



Francis,
you are beyond all elemental being now, plunged sainted and seraphic into Love's fire of origin and union and ending, all in one eternal communion of praise, where God is all in all and all are one. Pouring out upon those who are brave enough to follow your bloody footprints upon the Gospeled path an ever flowing fountain of peace and joy and brother beckoning us ever onward, ever upward, from earth's embrace, to sing with wind and fire and water our way into the Divine Dance of Being!

Saturday, 31 March 2018

Homily for the Easter Vigil 2018






Homily for the Easter Vigil 2018

The Angel said, “You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified: He has risen, He is not here. See here is the place where they laid Him. But you must go and tell His disciples and Peter: He is going before you to Galilee; it is there you will see Him, just as He told you.” Mk. 16:8

We have arrived at the place of fulfilment.
We have arrived at the place where all our longing, all our desiring falls away.
We have arrived at the moment of Resurrection, not just of Christ, but through Him and with Him and in Him, a resurrection of all that is.

Long lost in self, long lost in despair, long lost in death we had felt the coldness of a life that seems to have no meaning, no essence, no hope…
we had felt the darkness of a wintered night without and even more so within…
we know what the long night of sin has done to us…
it has worn us down…
it has shamed us…
it has taken from us all that we hoped for…
as sin always does…
since the garden we have known its false promises and since the garden we have thought them real, only to stumble and fall again and again…
And yet for thousands of years we have hoped for deliverance, for freedom, for restoration…
We have been promised such in the proclamations of prophet and in the whispers of patriarchs, in the songs of the holy women and in the innocence of children we have seen another way, we have been recalled to righteousness, we have been invited again and again into covenant…
and we have heard that it is possible that the God who is Love never abandons His creation. Never abandons His people, never abandons you, never abandons me…

And He has promised…
he has declared that not only will He be Emmanuel, the God with Us, but He will be Jesus, the One who saves us from our sins. How? By facing down our darkness. He who is light will descend into the darkness of our sin. God from God, Light from Light, true God from True God; the everlasting Word of the Father will descend, will empty Himself and descend into the very bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh… this is how much He loves us…
He will become us and in becoming us He will face our darkness, consume our sin, heal our wounds…
He will be our sacrifice, the only sacrifice acceptable to the Father for in His humanity He will descend to heal us and in His divinity He will raise us up to our eternal home in the very heart of the communion of Love that we call God…

Yes He will descend and in descending touch the darkness, touch the despair, touch the sin, touch the misery of our selfishness and for just a moment, for just a seeming moment seem to be consumed. He will touch death, death on a cross. He will touch your death, all that is dead in you, all that is dead in me…
just for a moment…
they touch…
they embrace…
they kiss…
and from the darkened Golgotha sky the source of life and light breathes out his Spirit over the chaos we have caused…


And then…
and then He conquers!

Darkness is overcome by Light
Death is overcome by Life
Despair is overcome by Hope
Love… Love…Love
conquers all!
He is Risen!
Alleluia!
He is Risen!

This is the heart of existence, the heart of the story of creation, this is what it is all about and always was and will be about…
He descends and in that universal moment of Resurrection I am raised too, you are raised too, and crackling along the great faultline of history forwards and backwards into the world of the dead and the world of those yet to come all feel that great earthquake of power as death is conquered, the gates of hell are broken and the lamb reveals himself as the Lion of Judah
and He goes before us…
listen to the words of the Angel…
He goes before us…
We will see Him there just as He told us…

He goes before us…
the One who was foretold through the ages…
the One who emptied Himself of Divine Glory so as to become one with us…
goes before us…
The One who suffered and died and rose again goes before us…
He goes before me…
He goes before you…
Do you know what that means?
It is the great Easter secret…
from now on there is never a moment in your life or in my life, never a joy, a suffering, a place, or a time where He is not already there, waiting for you to arrive and be present to Him so that He may pour out love and light and power upon you… The resurrection is not just a moment in history it is happening now…
in this moment and in every moment we will ever face!
Our choice tonight and in each moment is to liberate His power in us, to allow Him to be the God He is who waits until we allow Him in… until we become present to Him…

Otherwise we miss it… we can be like the disciples who hear the word of hope and power and dismiss it… it can’t be we think! I had my plans and they failed… I had my hopes and they failed… I know who I am and I am a failure…
So I will dismiss the easter message tonight and descend back into my worry, my pain, my story of how things should be, could have been, would have been…
No not tonight! I beg you not tonight!
Leave the tomb of the past behind… walk out into the garden of the new morning of God’s Love.

He has died to show you how much you are loved. Your God has died for you!
He has risen to show you how much you are loved. Your God has risen for you!
He has gone ahead of you to prepare a place for you. Your God goes ahead of you!
No more fear of the future then!
No more regret for the past then!
As the Lamb He has cancelled your past
As the Lion He fights for your future…

So we on this holiest of nights begin again with the God of beginning
We say to Him again Lord that I may see! Lord that I may follow! Here I am Lord in all my mess, my pain, my glorious brokenness! Here I am for you! Let me begin again this day, this very moment. Not my will but yours…

What have we to fear?
We have it from the Angel’s mouth…

He has risen…
He is not here in the place of the tomb…
He is going before you…
It is there you will see Him…
Just as He told you…

And let us pray: Lord I will follow you into the easter light of the life you have prepared for me…

Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Hearing Confessions: Hearing Grace


Over the last three days I have had the privilege of hearing around 12 hours of Confessions... musing on the grace of this wonderful sacrament led me back to this reflection from last year...

Once again I am struck by the extraordinary nature of this Divine gift...
Old and young, they came....
Old ladies and men seeking more chat than Sacrament....
Young people needing counsel as well as Confession...
The long lost who at last have found their way home, only to discover that they had never actually left the house of Divine Love, nor could they...
The broken relationship...
The stressed out Mum or Dad...
The one making life decisions and unsure what is real and what is illusion...
The random walker in the woods who on passing the church receives a nudge from their Guardian Angel and thinks why not?

No one but God will ever know the dance of grace that takes place in and through the Sacrament of Reconciliation... those who come arrive for all kinds of reasons... and often we discover the real reasons together as hearts open, tears fall, and grace rushes into the gap between who we are at our lowest and who we may be at our best... And then the final extraordinary glimpse of the vision that Divine Love has for us when absolution is given, freedom received, heart is salved and wounds are healed and we realise that we never needed to carry these burdens at all... All that was asked of us was to let them drop one by one into the transforming furnace of Divine Love blazing eternally in His Sacred Heart... And this is a miracle beyond miracles that takes place in Confessionals and in sanctuaries every day, yes, but also in shops and on the street and in parks and at festivals and funerals and weddings and in pubs and on pavements and in prisons and beside hospital beds and in the strident voices of the young and in the whispered voice of the dying... when someone looks at you with that look and says, "Would you mind hearing my Confession?"

But if I could ask one thing of you... Please pray for us who are called to this ministry of Divine Encounter for we see and hear it all and carry within us not only knowledge of our own sins and darkness (which is tough enough for any person) but also the direct knowledge of the gaping wound at the heart of all humanity, and while, thank God, it is not our job to heal it, or judge it, it is our sacred duty to be the instrument through which He pours His healing and unconditional love into it...while we seek always that healing for ourselves too...
The best description of the Sacrament I ever heard was from an old friar who described it as "two sinners having a conversation in the presence of God, and remember where God is present everyone leaves healed."
Call it what you will: The Sacrament of Reconciliation, of Confession, of Penance, of Soul Beauty... maybe in these days He is calling you to such an encounter too... Lay down your burdens... and realise you never had to carry them at all.



Pic is of Pope Francis making his Confession in Rome

Tuesday, 13 February 2018

The Twelve Are Alive In Me








The Twelve Are Alive In Me

There are days
when it feels
as though all the twelve
live in this poor disciple’s heart.
For, depending on the moment’s mystery
each has his place and his preaching
is heard in my soul.

Peter is present
A rock and foundation stone
thrice cleft by betrayal
and cleansed by tears at
cockcrow
but fitting fully now nonetheless,
this rough fisherman of grace,
overawed at Love that does not depart
in the presence of sin
or even self satisfied importance,
but teaches patiently
through the impetuosity
of one who would
build tents to contain heaven
on a hill,
and swing a leg over the side
to begin the water walk of wonder
until storm tossed seas
recall a quavering heart to the lesson of humility
and later call “Quo Vadis?”
to One whose way he will follow to
an upside down end.
O yes.
Peter is present in me.

Andrew beckons too,
the announcer of the Lord.
First called and first to call others
“Come!”
he cries in me, “I have found Him!”
And this is the life of Andrew in me
finding and losing and finding again;
only to lose again so that I may call others to
the finding in their turn,
and in that struggle to perhaps
at the last, find all that I have longed for
and sought in every teacher;
the One from whom the knowledge comes,
the One who is the Wisdom of the Ages
the Lamb walking wild towards His
Paschal place while saying all the while
“Come and See…”
“Come and See…”
O yes. Andrew is present in me.

The Sons of Thunder have their place in me,
brothers both and twice blessed
James and John; lions of the Lord,
tamed slowly into Apostles of
Mercy and Love;
they shine the light
on all unreconciled in me,
all that is yet to yield
to the gentleness of grace,
transforming fire into fire,
light into light, they smoulder within
until finally alight, the mystic flame
burns away my blindness
and gives the eagle’s eye,
the pilgrim’s staff
to see and walk the way
beyond the way
of this world

Matthew dwells here too.
Tax Collector, Publican,
who yet holds the priestly name
too in his heart, even in his broken days.
Forgiven his compromise
with the world and called clean
from the heart of horror
by One who sudden stands unbidden
in the midst of the unclean place
to cleanse and call.
His story told me to hope
that I too could be called
not once only but daily
from the hard taxation
of sin’s slavery
and its distractions to become
a living Gospel
of His grace
evangelising all
in exultation
over mercy found, not once only,
but many times,
where even the tale of my betrayals
becomes a blessed gate to grace
for all who hear.
O yes. Matthew is present in me.


Philip and Bartholomew
Brothers of the road
and companions
on the way
are found in me.
Spirit led preachers and questioners too
seeking wisdom’s light and imparting
wisdom’s blessings all in the power of
the Word.
In their pain they preached
and fulfilled their longing
to see with their own eyes
and touch with their own hands.
They teach the lesson of being open to Angels
met upon the road in all the disguises
of grace, stepping lightly and not long upon the earth
they dance across deserts and invite me
to flow freely in faith
O yes. Philip and Bartholomew are present in me.

Thomas too is here,
sometimes still appearing as
Didymus the Doubter;
needing the touch of truth,
the gaping wound that proves Love’s
Labour birthing blessedness in blindness.
Yet also, and more often
he in me affirms faith and its freedom
describing divinity in mystery
and Lordship in light
touching presence, yes
by becoming the very vessel
in which is seen and heard
the One who is the face
of the Father.
O yes. Thomas is present in me.

Three come forward now
Each with their own share
Of me, in me, with me,
Simon, James and Jude
Of the first two named
I owe the allegiance of the east,
for into the sun rise they walked
their way of faith together
once healed of the heaviness
of seeming loss and ruin on Calvary’s Cross.
In its sign they bought with their blood too
the blessing of a harvest
still to be reaped, not just in distant lands
but in this my soul that lies too often in darkness
and yearns for resurrection dawn.
Of the third what can I say
but that his gift is hope, perhaps
the greatest grace of all save love,
but can love be kindled
save at hope’s hearth?
He too lived his hope unto the gates of Heaven
where hope fades into faith’s fulfilment
and where I pray each day these noble three
may yet bring me and all I love safely home.
O yes. Simon and James and Jude are present in me.

And yes…
There is a Judas place
in which I am the betrayer,
whose faith is so frail
it cannot imagine a mercy
wide enough for me
and hurtles instead headlong
through temptation’s tumult
to bestow a kiss,
by which the silver coin of self
turns to doubt’s dust
in an unknowing dawn, a mere second away from resurrection
May I be saved from it by this sacred knowing that
O yes. Judas is present in me.

But there is too a blessedness in me,
though not of me,
that kindles faith and hope and love
even in the face of my own weary weakness,
and calls me yet, as they were called
from out the ordinary occupation of the day to know
that these Apostles, all alive in me,
are spokes of one great wheel of love,
that turns the stars and drives the sun across the sky
and pours upon us the uncreated light by which we see the light!
Known to those twelve first as Rabbi, then as Christ, and finally as Lord,
He lights my way, loves me and all that is
into the blessing of being
and asks me now, as then he asked, and he now asks you,
“Will you not come and see?”
O yes. He is present in me.

Friday, 2 February 2018

Moon Memories





Moon Memories:

Once,
The moon followed
me home,
I know,
because I watched her
out the back window of the car.
Occasionally slipping
behind trees or buildings
like a secret agent,
she kept up with us
effortlessly,
as I strained against
the straps of my seat
to meet her gaze.
I felt her interest
and her smile,
happy to have made
a new friend.

Once,
not afraid of the night,
but of the day
that would follow,
I was invited
by my Mother
to gaze on the Moon
outside our house,
and greet her as
Our Lady’s lamp
protecting all,
guiding all home,
wisdom
passed down
from her Father,
whom I had never met,
but always felt
I knew.
He loved the Moon
she said.
There is hereditary
of the heart,
as well as of the blood,
it seems.
To this day
I miss her calls
that would begin always
with,
Have you seen the Moon
tonight?
For I cannot look up
at the Moon
without looking
within
too.

Once,
I spent the night
in a wood made pure
silver
by her presence,
and felt the life in every thing
stir and sing
and dance
in a wild celebration
that is hidden from
the day.
I sat stone still
and watched
Foxes play
about me
and a Badger
pass by like an ancient sage
busy on his own quest,
and I believed
in magic again
by her light.

Once,
I remember her
appearing during the
long drawn out days
of dry schooling,
and seeing her
still serenity
so far above
the awfulness
of that age
made me breathe out
a breath
I did not even know
I had been holding
on to for years.
She felt like a friend
checking in.
We greeted each other
then,
as we do to this day,
each noticing the other
in the blessed acceptance
of being.

Once,
Sick and fevered I rose
gasping in the middle
of a winter’s night
and pulled back the curtain
to find her shining
over snow so newly fallen
that not a flake
had been disturbed
but glowed in her gaze
cascading in curves
over a street I knew
but saw again
for the first time
now softened
by snowlight’s reflection
of her blessed touch.
I looked and looked
at this gracious gift
of enchantment’s echo
until I felt I was being
looked at in turn
and blessed too.
In the morning,
I woke
well.

Once,
I walked the pier
between my parents
on the night before
I left to follow
the path.
We watched her rise
together,
in silence
and listened to a mandolin
playing in the distance.
We did not have to speak,
the Moon sang for us,
soul songs only we could hear.
Always remember this night,
they said later.
As if I could
do anything
else?


Once,
Feeling bereft and lost
I caught sight of her
rising over a strange city
(Though I remember her,
and the feelings,
but not the city it was.)
and I did not feel lost
anymore
How could you be lost
when you are always
under her graced gaze?.
How could you be alone
when everyone you know
and love is beneath her blessing
too?
I asked myself.

Once,
I saw her,
loom so large
as to almost
be alarming,
bedecked in harvest
gold and heavy seeming,
she lit the land beneath
so beautifully
that the cattle on the hills
cried out to her,
and the birds began their chorus
for a dawn
that was yet hours away.
I danced in her light
that night,
beneath the trees,
a slow sandaled
shuffle of monkish sort,
and bowed deeply
as she passed.
How could you not?
When all around
and within
was
psalming
celebration
of her compline
completeness.


Once,
I watched her rise
sickle sharp
over Assisi.
As though making manifest
the unseen divine smile
hanging in the air
over this holy place
where joy was married
to peace in the song
of brother-sisterhood.
I smiled back and felt
the saint smile too
behind it all
and wondered what
his long silent nights
of prayer
must have been like
measured only by her dance
across the sky
slowly revealing her face
to him,
as grace comes gently
to fill us
only as we empty
and so seem
to disappear
into divine darkness
just like
her.


Candlemas Feb 2nd 2018